Ultra Loony update

Well, the training so to speak is in the bag and it's taper time for TCM weekend, I got through 17 miles yesterday and I have a chance. Here are my weekly totals for the last 7 weeks:

6

0

0

0

2

32

30

I have made progress especially considering just 2 weeks ago I could only walk and that was a slow walk (to put it in perspective, 9 miles of the 32 miles from last week were a walk on labor day, a few days later I was able to do a run-walk and so it began). I still have no speed or turnover and if I do try to stretch it out, the pain is increased. The good news is I am able to do the run-walk and I know it can work and I am hoping that the 2 week taper will get me to the starting line just a little bit healthier and increase my odds further. Regardless, I intend to give it a go. What do I have to lose? I have had a DNF, I can live with another one if I have to but I don't want a DNS.

Back to my long run for this marathon journey, I felt good for about 12 or 13 miles but then I slowed down as the pain increased and I ended up having to walk the last 2 miles and could not have run through it. That said, I am close to being able to get to a marathon pace and if I can have a little marathon majic it will happen. It has before.

When I am faced with these go/no go decisions, I think why do I do this? The answer is fairly simple, because I can and it's what I signed up for. Yes, this adductor tear is not fun but I have healed enough to get through the 10k and 5k and possibly the marathon. Would I rather abort the Loony and just do the marathon, no. I want it all and if I can heal a bit more and manage the pain, I can do it. Last year I had the knee issue which made for a very, very long day but I got through it, was it fun, yes at times and at other times, it was not, as matter of fact, I do remember pausing and taking a deep breath and was close to dropping but then I leaned in and I embraced it and savored it all the way to the finish.

It's about putting your mind to it and then shutting out the negatives. I will be slow and it will be an extremely long day again but I want to try, no I have to try, it is who I am. In so many ways, knowing I feel every step means I am alive, to run without pain would be and is a great experience, I so look forward to having those kind of runs again. For this Ultra Loony though,  I do know that managing the pain will be the journey and I will embrace it and do what I can, which what I have on the day. I will ask myself to start and command, plead my way to the finish (I do love the internal debate I will have) and if it's meant to be, I will do it. If it is not then I will welcome the journey and go as long as I can.